


whymylife's Batfam Tumblr AUs

by whymylife (nabringa)



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Grocery Store, Alternate Universe - Retail, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Books, Brotherly Bonding, Bulimia, Corporal Punishment, Damian Wayne Feels, Dick Grayson is Damian Wayne’s Parent, Domestic Batfamily (DCU), Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, Ender's Game References, Fairy Tale Retellings, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jason Todd Feels, Malnutrition, Minor Barbara Gordon/Dick Grayson, Minor Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Minor Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Origin Story, Some Humor, Some Plot, Starvation, but discussed, fear of starvation, food insecurity, i have no idea how to fix it, jason todd is also damian wayne's parent, not endorsed, these tags are a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28058952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nabringa/pseuds/whymylife
Summary: Various Batfam AUs and headcanons I have and have not posted on my tumblr, ranging from grocery store employees to age switches to fairy tales, and lots of other stuff in between.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Bruce Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Duke Thomas & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, batfamily members - Relationship
Comments: 46
Kudos: 150





	1. Batfam vs. Ender's Game

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Alternate Histories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20415709) by [kiragecko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiragecko/pseuds/kiragecko). 



> Hello! This collection is an excuse to keep my AUs in one place and make them look pretty, and also so I have motivation to finish the ones I am currently working on. Most of this is stuff I would have written into a full fic if I thought I had the time and the talent to do it justice, so enjoy it in sloppy bullet-point outline form? These are probably wildly ooc and absolutely do not relate to canon well if at all, but they were fun to write!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fam discovers Ender's Game. Shenanigans ensue.

  * Jason and Tim have both read Ender’s Game before.
  * It was recommended to Jason when he was, like, eleven by the nicest librarian at the public library he spent a lot of time at when he was homeless. (He’s pretty sure she knew what his deal was, but she never said anything and he didn’t confirm anything just in case.)
  * Tim found a copy when he was nine on the badly stocked sci-fi shelf in his dad’s private library.
  * They both read it, liked it well enough, and forgot about it.
  * Years later, after Red Hood and Red Robin have called a truce and finally started to make an effort to develop a relationship as actual siblings, a bored Jason finds a copy of Ender’s Game at a used book store and decides to re-read it. He doesn’t really remember much of what happened except cool fights in zeroG, but he does remember that he liked it, and wasn’t it that super sweet librarian who had recommended it to him? She had great taste.
  * He takes it back to his safe house and reads the whole thing in about five straight hours.
  * He shuts the book, goes straight to the manor, enters Tim’s room via the window and chucks the book at Tim’s face



Jason: “TELL ME YOU HAVE READ THIS BOOK.”  
Tim: “Jason what the fu--”  
Jason: “READ IT. NOW. If you don’t I might actually kill you, Replacement.”  
Jason: *ducks back out the window* 

  * It’s one in the morning and Tim hasn’t slept for days and was seriously starting to consider moving on to a less strenuous case to wind down, but a book works too. Ender’s Game, huh? Tim remembers reading it, but not much of the plot besides child geniuses being taken advantage of by adults. He figures he won’t know why Jason wants him to read it so bad until he reads it, so.
  * When Tim makes his way downstairs for breakfast at roughly seven the next morning, he finds Jason patiently waiting at the kitchen table with a mug of tea in front of him and another of coffee at the seat across from him.
  * Tim sits down in front of the coffee and just. Puts his head in his hands and makes vaguely distressed noises.
  * Jason grins.
  * They spend all morning talking about the book and their lives and when Tim finally crashes around eleven o’clock (68 straight hours without sleep. New record.) Jason carries him back to his room and tucks him in and then hacks Tim’s laptop to order Ender’s Shadow on Bruce’s card.



***

  * They read all the books in both series and bond over how awful the sequels were (except for Ender’s Shadow, which Jason will not admit he almost couldn’t get through without throwing up/having severe flashbacks and never intends to read again despite it’s quality) and whether Ender or Bean was a more compelling protagonist and which of them relates more to Ender
  * Tim wins that argument by virtue of being the unwanted third sibling.
  * Jason is bitter but reluctantly admits that he and Peter do have the ‘attempting to kill your usurper little brother and regretting it later’ bit in common, even if he argues that world domination via message boards is more Tim’s shtick while annihilating the enemy is his
  * Dick is dubbed ‘Val’ immediately and has no idea what that is a reference to and is honestly scared to find out



***

  * Tim calls Jason ‘Peter’ once in an effort to make him feel bad after a particularly nasty sparring practice and--



Dick: “Why are you calling him by his middle name?”  
Tim: “...”  
Jason: “...”  
Jason: “Damn. I forgot that was my middle name. Huh. Fine. You win, space cadet. Guess I better join some message boards.”  
Dick: *backing away slowly* “Um… Do I want to know?”  
Jason: *bares his teeth* “I dunno, Val. Are you sure you can handle the truth?”  
Dick: *runs*  
Tim: *sighs*

***

  * ANYWAY. Damian hears them talking about books and doesn’t really care but one day realizes that they don’t talk about books, they talk about one particular book.
  * He goes to Tim one morning and demands to be allowed to know what book they talk about so much and what makes it so special, and Tim just kinda side eyes him because Damian was never much for books before but who is he to deny a kid access to literature? So Tim hands him a copy.
  * Damian marches off without even reading the title and Tim rolls his eyes.
  * Tim doesn’t see Damian for the rest of the day.
  * When Damian finally appears in the cave just before patrol, he walks over to Tim with his head down and shoves the book at him.
  * Tim is all like ‘well what did you think’ and Damian finally looks up and there is such deep sadness in his eyes Tim almost takes a step back, but there is also tangible relief and a little bit of hope and understanding and for a moment they just look at each other, and--
  * Tim suddenly remembers that Damian is a deeply empathetic genius of a kid who was bred to be a weapon and then systematically isolated and used by every adult in his life as a child and kinda mentally facepalms because OF COURSE--



Damian: “... Thank you for lending me the book, Timothy. I… I found it to be quite educational.”  
Tim: *screaming internally* “... You’re welcome, Damian. It didn’t, um. Like, it didn’t make you feel bad, or…?”  
Damian: “I believe I understand your attachment to this particular story, and it put Grayson’s ramblings about family and love into perspective. I found the exploration of the value of empathy for a warrior particularly--”

  * And then Jason walks over and wants to know what they’re talking about, and they all get excited discussing how love and friendship are portrayed as both a strength and weakness until it’s an hour later and Bruce is glaring at them because they’re late for patrol now.
  * If Damian breaks a few less bones than usual while punching criminals that night, nobody says anything.
  * If Tim hears Damian whisper ‘Salaam, my brothers’ under his breath while leaving the Batcave after patrol, he doesn’t say anything. 



***

  * It doesn’t take Dick long to figure out that all his brothers have read some book called ‘Ender’s Game’, and can spend hours talking about it. He doesn’t like Serious Books, but he likes being left out even less, so he downloads the audio book and listens to it while he works out.
  * It takes him about a week to finish it, and when he does he just lies on the floor and cries for an hour before going to find his brothers and hug them. 



Dick: *grinning maniacally and strangling Jason with a hug* “So... ‘Val’, huh?”  
Jason: *blushes as bright red as his hood* “YEAH!? What about it, DICKFACE???”  
Dick: “Aww! I love you too, Jason~”

***

  * Cass still can’t read well, so Jason volunteers to read it to her. Before patrol each night they go to her room and read a chapter.
  * After the first few nights, Dick drags Damian and Tim into the room with him and declares that this is sibling bonding time now. Jason objects, but Cass does not and it’s her room, so they stay and listen to Grumpy Jason read. He does voices and everything. It’s great. 



***

  * When Duke comes to the manor, one of the first questions Jason asks during mandatory family dinner is what his favorite books are.
  * Duke starts listing them out and there are a lot, but he slips Ender’s Game in there and Jason’s eyes kinda bug out and he laughs and slaps Duke in the back and says ‘welcome to the family’ and ‘you’ll fit right in’
  * Bruce is kinda horrified but all of his children are grinning in a very disconcerting way and Duke looks almost… excited? Huh.
  * Bruce looks up Ender’s Game later that night and reads the summary... And decides he really doesn't want to know why his kids like this book so much, but orders his own first edition copy anyway. 



***

  * Tim and Jason do some research on Orson Scott Card and debate Death Of The Author for months with no clear conclusion. The only thing they agree on is that Ender’s Game isn’t going anywhere, but they will no longer be purchasing copies of the book or otherwise financially supporting OSC/reading his work in any way shape or form.



***

  * One day Jason casually mentions that he was a lot like Peter when he was younger
  * Damian takes this to mean that Jason also made a habit of torturing small animals in his backyard, and decides to take the appropriate measures to rid the earth of such scum
  * Tim is laughing too hard to help



***

Bruce: *calls a family meeting*  
The kids: *are a mixture of resigned and confused*  
Bruce: I have called this meeting because I want you to understand that each and every one of you is precious to me, and I only want what is best for you. I am deeply sorry if any of you ever felt pressured into fighting crime for a living, or felt like you had to earn my love through your work as vigilantes. If any of you ever decide to hang up the cape and live as a civilian I will stand behind you the whole way.  
The kids: *crickets*  
Tim: Oh my-- Guys. He finally read Ender’s Game.  
The rest of the kids: *groan* 

***

  * Jason, Tim and Duke all whisper ‘the enemy’s gate is down’ when jumping feet first from a roof into a fight
  * Damian doesn’t say it, but definitely thinks it more than once. 



***

  * Damian lets himself take a hit to the leg so he can get at his opponent’s blind spot. He proceeds to use ‘well Ender did it’ as an excuse. Jason proceeds to stitch the gash, smack him upside the head, and remind him that there are differences between book logic and real life.
  * The next thing Damian tries is tying grapple wire around his waist and launching himself around a corner/off a building. Jason catches him by the scruff just before he makes the jump, smacks him upside the head, and reminds him how physics work.
  * (Bruce yells at Jason to stop smacking his kid around. Jason yells back that if Bruce doesn’t like Jason’s parenting style, he can come over here and parent his kid himself. Bruce does so. Reluctantly. Damian rolls his eyes.) 



***

  * Steph finally reads the damn book to make Tim happy, and his goofy grin when she says ‘whatever, Mazer’ with an eye roll while Bruce lectures her about strategy makes the literally tortuous work of slogging through a whole-ass published novel worth it.
  * Barbara was an Ender’s Game fan years before Jason or Tim ever read it for the first time, to the point where she used petra2.0 as her handle for personal stuff. If she saw any parallels throughout the years, she kept them to herself.
  * Babs does, however, buy all the Bats matching hoodies in grey and orange the Christmas after all of them have read the book. 



***

  * They collectively boycott the movie.
  * Tim looked up the cast list and the special effects team and decided it wasn’t worth it.
  * Jason watched it once on his own (out of morbid curiosity and because he’s a masochist) and wouldn’t shut up about the way they butchered Ender’s character/the general themes for weeks.
  * Dick has considered watching it because he knows he isn’t as picky as his brothers when it comes to adaptations, but he also knows that if he sees it and likes it, or even insinuates that it wasn’t that bad, he will be excommunicated post haste. So he keeps his mouth shut and blocks anything with footage from the movie from his computer.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I strongly believe that a family that deals with as much collective PTSD as this one would tend towards avoiding movies and shows and stick to books where it's a lot easier to disengage if something triggering happens. And I also think they would have strong feelings about child soldiers as a concept both in real life and in media... And that's where this came from I guess? Honestly I just pictured Tim saying "the enemy's gate is down" while jumping off a building like the total nerd he is and it spiraled from there.


	2. Grocery Store Fam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is the same, except billionaire Bruce Wayne/Batman doesn’t go on an adoption spree. 
> 
> Or:
> 
> Bruce never adopted Dick and so therefore Batman never had a Robin, but all the boys meet anyway because they work at the same grocery store.

  * So, basically Dick eventually got shuffled out of juvie and into foster care and just never got adopted
  * He got a part time job at the local chain grocery store when he was in high school, and managed to save up enough money so that when he aged out of the system he wasn’t homeless
  * Barbara works at the grocery store on and off through college, and they end up becoming good friends and dating
  * After she graduates college they move in together, and Dick keeps working at the store but also starts taking night classes while she gets a job at a library 



***

  * Jason had a run in with Batman that one time, but the guy just laughed and bought him a burger and sent him on his way, so
  * He’s fourteen now, and is starting to get noticed by the gangs and the pimps and the dealers in ways he really doesn’t want to be noticed, so he decides it’s time to get off the street now that he can pass as sixteen and get a legal job
  * So Jason calls in some favors to get new paperwork and burns some bridges to get away from the streets for good, and ends up working at the same store as Dick
  * Dick meets Jason and immediately sees through his bs about wanting a part time job to help his mom with bills, and since he knows what it’s like to want something more from life but have no opportunities or support system, he offers to let this ratty kid crash on their couch when he needs to
  * Jason is very suspicious, but can tell that Dick wouldn’t hurt a fly, so agrees
  * At first it’s really awkward for everyone involved, but they bond over books and rough life experiences and wanting something better, and after a few months the brotherly bonds are there, if not super strong
  * Dick talks Jason into getting his GED, and he and Babs take turns tutoring him
  * Eventually Babs gets shot by virtue of being the commissioner's daughter, and during her recovery starts doing coding/cyber security freelance work from home. They all get a lot closer while she is at home, and by the time she goes back to work at the library Jason has jokingly called her mom at least once



***

  * Tim… Tim got himself emancipated at sixteen
  * He never really got into Batman (without Robin around, why would he?) so there is that.
  * His mom still dies and his dad remarries, but Tim really isn’t interested in being a part of whatever new family his dad is trying to create, so he saves up a bunch of money and rents an apartment and transfers schools and gets a job at a grocery store, and gets himself emancipated
  * He meets Dick and Jason and sees their dynamic, and they see some scrawny rich kid who should be privileged and pampered but is instead working at a grocery store and attending a very bad public high school, and are very confused (Dick) and passive aggressive (Jason) for a bit
  * And then they somehow get the full story of his family and home life, and decide that rich kid or not, Tim is in no way privileged and needs a family
  * Dick is, of course, the one who makes the first move and invites Tim over, because Jason is still in his ‘eat the rich’ mood and Tim is still kinda wary of people in general
  * Tim eventually opens up and starts coming over pretty regularly. It helps that Barbara latches onto him immediately because he is a freaking computer genius and they spend hours working on coding stuff together, and he ends up kinda unofficially working for her cyber security business on the side 



***

  * Stephanie goes to the same high school as Tim and they become friends really quickly
  * Tim is kinda freaked out by that because the only other good friend he’s ever had was Ives and he’s as unsure of how that friendship came into being as he is this one
  * Steph is the extrovert that decides to take pity on the introvert and then discovers that the introvert is actually really cool, so sticks with him. They stay best friends and Tim helps Steph get a job working at the library with Babs
  * Cass never reveals herself to anyone at the store, but she does go dumpster diving there a lot when she is in Gotham and Jason, recognizing the signs of a dumpster that has been regularly dived, leaves extra food out there. Good quality stuff, some of his own cooking occasionally
  * Duke went into regular foster care and ended up with a pretty great family. He’s still holding out for his real parents, so they aren’t going to adopt him or anything but they let him get a job at the local grocery store and have a loose curfew, so
  * Duke needs friends more than he needs family like the others, so Dick doesn’t move to ‘my new little brother’ mode so fast.
  * Duke goes to the same high school as Tim and Steph, and he's a grade behind them but they take it upon themselves to watch out for Duke and kinda bring him into their circle and check up on him and maybe hang out at his foster house or Dick and Babs apartment sometimes.
  * When Tim and Steph find out about his powers they offer to help him train them, and Tim does an extensive study on them where his mad nerd skills are shown in full force and is relieved when Duke does not get scared away
  * Duke is, in fact, extremely excited and gets Tim to help him design a superhero suit or something for if he ever gets a chance to fight the Joker
  * Tim is like ‘sounds legit’ and teaches him some of the martial arts he learned as a kid 



***

  * Dick started out working the register and center store, but eventually worked his way up to a manager position. He knows how to do pretty much every job in the entire store by this point, and gets called to fill in for a lot of night shifts, especially at the register
  * Jason started with maintenance, and eventually started doing some receiving and warehouse stuff once the rest of the staff realized he knew all the delivery guys by name and actually got along with them
  * After a few years at the grocery store, Jason looked around and got another job at an auto mechanic shop and eventually quit his job at the store and moved to a full time position at the auto shop, the family threw him a party
  * Tim started out in center store and by the end of a week had completely reorganized and recategorized the shelves and memorized the entire contents of inventory. He always knows exactly where everything is and how much they have and when they need to order more. This is his domain. The managers (Dick) learned to stop arguing, and just kinda let him do his thing at this point



***

  * Damian was brought to Gotham and dropped off by his mother, and is now living a very lonely life in a manor with a father who has no idea how to connect with him and a Butler who hasn’t had to deal with a child for nigh on twenty-five years now
  * He hasn’t been put in school yet because his father doesn’t deem it safe, and since Batman never had the original Robin the idea of making his ten year old assassin child into his sidekick as an extracurricular never occurred to him, so Damian basically has nothing to do and nobody to do it with (no rivals to fight, no way to prove himself to his father)
  * So he starts sneaking out while Bruce is on patrol, and just wandering around Gotham by himself in his assassin gear
  * There is this once grocery store that doesn’t close till late, so he usually stops there first to buy a snack or something before he heads off to jump around the roof-tops (American snack foods fascinate him, but he can never let his father know that. What little is left of his dignity would be shattered.) 



***

  * The first thing Dick thinks when he sees this child dressed as a ninja walk into his store at 10:43pm (only 17 minutes till closing, no he isn’t counting the seconds, you can’t prove anything) is ‘cosplayer’. The second is ‘BABY’, and the third is just inarticulate screeching because this kid is like ten and that isn’t a fake sword and who lets a child wander around Crime Alley alone at night???
  * So he rings up this kid’s cheeto puffs and casually asks him if he’s ok, and Damian’s all like ‘I don’t owe you an explanation for my behavior, peasant’ and stalks off before Dick can get his name or anything
  * But he comes back every night, always with a sword and always for a new kind of junk food, and Dick just keeps being kind and patient and Damian eventually stops being suspicious of his questions and Dick manages to pick up that this kid’s name is Damian, he is new to Gotham, and he lives with his father who he doesn’t know very well and misses his mom a lot (Damian doesn’t tell him his full name because he knows the value of being undercover)
  * Dick tells Damian all about his fiancé Barbara and his two little brothers Jason and Tim, and promises that if he stops by the store during the day he’ll introduce them
  * Damian is eventually enrolled in a real school, and comes by the store after classes a few times to meet Jason and Tim
  * Both of whom are Seriously Concerned with this tiny dangerous person who is obviously rich and obviously lonely



Jason: “We gave Tim a chance and he turned out alright, I say we kidnap this one too.”  
Tim: “You didn’t kidnap me, I came willingly. We’ll have to lure him in.”  
Dick: “Absolutely! With the promise of family movie nights and hugs!”  
Tim and Jason: *look at each other* *look back at Dick* *shrug simultaneously* 

  * So Dick casually asks Damian if he wants to hang out with the family at the mall sometime and meet Barbara, and Damian accepts because at this point he doesn’t think it’s a trap anymore
  * So they all go to the mall and Damian has never been and only has a vague idea of what a mall is, meeting Barbara goes well and then they eat junk food at the food court before shopping and he is pretty interested in trying a milkshake so that goes well too
  * Barbara takes one look at this kid who is too serious and too small and just goes ‘I guess I’m his mother now’
  * She and Dick share a Look
  * After that first trip to the mall the family starts to invite Damian on more outings with them, and he gradually becomes The Baby
  * When wedding time rolls around they ask to meet his family so they don’t feel weird about inviting him and maybe asking him to be in the wedding party
  * So Alfred takes it upon himself to come over and meet these people that his charge has been spending so much time with
  * Of course Master Bruce ran extensive background checks as soon as these people came to his attention (He was getting suspicious and stalked Damian to the mall that first time) but had neither the time nor the inclination to actually introduce himself in person
  * So this old British dude in a fitted suit shows up to the ratty apartment and introduces himself to Dick and Babs as ‘Master Damian’s Butler’ and proceeds to interrogate them on how Damian spends his time when he visits and what the family hobbies are and how well they can fight, and eventually gives permission for Damian to be the ring bearer at the wedding
  * The entire family is very confused (except Tim, who knows a bit about Butlers) but excited that Damian can come to the wedding



***

  * So the wedding happens! Yay! It’s small and cheap and mostly consists of Dick gushing over Babs and Commissioner Gordon crying and Barbara trying to hold it together and maneuver in both a wedding dress and a wheelchair, but at the end they all eat cake and laugh and hug and Damian looked so serious when he walked down the aisle with the rings but now he’s just smiling and it’s so pure and happy and childlike it almost makes Barbara cry after a long day of being The Calm One
  * Jason moved in with Tim around the time Dick and Babs officially got engaged, so the newlywed couple go back to their quiet apartment to collect their suitcases for the honeymoon, and Tim and Jason drag Damian back to their apartment for a brotherly bonding sleepover
  * Batman waits till they all leave the venue and then comes down from the rafters and goes back to the manor and sits at his desk in the dark and stares into the abyss and wonders about family and his son and what it means to be a dad



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked if the Batkids were ever forced to work retail as a punishment when they lived with Bruce and I started writing and it got out of hand...


	3. Jason Todd: The Dad Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, we all headcanon/know that Dick is Damian’s actual parent and yeah, that’s great and all. But what about Jason? Jason, who is secretly a big softie and understands absuive/LoA upbringing and also (probably) the only one of all the Bat siblings with basic life skills?

  * So Jason gets to know Damian, and it’s rough going at first because this kid is a piece of work, but over time the little gremlin grows on him (like mold) and he starts to notice how the other members of the family interact with him.
  * Dick mothers and offers emotional support with Alfred as backup, Duke and Tim treat him like the bratty little brother he is, Bruce is afraid to get attached and is busy being useless, the girls get along fine with him but aren’t in a hurry to be super close or take the demon under their wing.
  * Unfortunately, that means that all the brat has in the way of parents are a friendly acrobat mom who lives in another city, a scary ninja mom with not visitation rights, a Butler grandma, and a literal block of wood, and if he’s going to survive real life there are some ‘dad’ things this kid needs to learn.
  * Jason figures since he is the only one with both these practical skills and adequate concern for Damian’s future, he’s going to have to be the one to pass them on.



***

  * Jason starts by taking Damian out to the garage one day and showing him how to change a tire and service a car, not one of the fancy ones but just like a regular car or truck a civilian would use.
  * He opens up the hood and makes Damian name all the parts and demonstrate how to hotwire it correctly and maybe locks him in the trunk and makes sure he knows how to break out.
  * They take the engine apart and put it back together and add some totally unnecessary but completely cool sound effects to the engine.



***

  * When Damian spends the night at Jason’s place Jason teaches him how to cook, how to change a lightbulb and check a fire alarm and do laundry and sew a button. Jason makes him vacuum rugs and wash dishes and scrub toilets and lets Damian pick the cleaning music.
  * Damian fights him on it at first, but Jason gets through to him with assurance that if he ever wants to live on his own and do his own thing, he has to learn these skills. Yes, Tim and Duke know this stuff. Cass and Steph and Babs too. Dick? Kinda. But Dick’s idea of cooking is heating up a freezer meal and his apartment hasn’t been clean since he moved in, so he’s not exactly in a position to teach you.
  * Damian grumbles, but decides to just go along with this ‘civilian lifestyle training’ since Jason deems it so important.
  * They go to the store and Jason makes Damian do the shopping for a week on a budget, and makes him pick the best deals on furniture at a thrift store. (Wearing clothes with previous owners is still something that Damian is not cool with, though he does admit to the wisdom and savings of doing so.)



***

  * Jason still smacks Damian upside the head when the kid gets mouthy, despite knowing that corporal punishment is not approved of by the family in general
  * It worked for Jason when he was a kid, didn’t it???
  * (No it didn’t. But it's habit by now and Jason’s not sure how to break it and Damian is actually glad that at least one person in this family knows how punishment works and is willing to inflict mild pain to let him know when he does something he’s not supposed to, instead of this ‘grounding’ and ‘talking it out’ nonsense.)
  * (It's one of those things they're going to have a serious discussion about ten years down the line when they're both in therapy and working through the trauma left by their physically abusive parents, but for now Damian knows Jason isn't going to hurt him and Jason makes sure he never touches Damian when he's mad.)



***

  * Later, maybe the summer before high school, Jason sits Damian down and makes sure he knows how to be safe with drugs, alcohol, and sex.
  * He is very clear that he is not endorsing any of these things, but he is going to be around a lot of it in high school and a little experimentation isn’t going to hurt him.
  * Damian vehemently denies ever desiring to participate in the above mentioned activities, but also agrees to call Jason first if he needs to be picked up from a party or something.



***

  * When Damian develops his first crush he goes to Jason first, because Dick is the only other person he would ever consider going to with this information but he already knows Dick is going to be weird about it and probably cry, so Jason it is.
  * Jason goes on for a bit about mutual respect and communication before just ruffling his hair and telling him to go for it.



***

  * Damian still struggles with reading comprehension at times, mostly because English isn’t his first language and when he reads for fun he prefers Arabic.
  * Jason is the one he goes to with English homework, and surprisingly Jason is an excellent teacher.
  * Jason was not aware of this, but now his passion for books has been reignited and he starts taking Literature classes at the local community college at night. He and Damian do their homework together.
  * Jason helps Damian pick a book to do a book report on, and gets just as excited as Dick does when he gets 100% on it. Damian almost smiles.



***

  * The whole family comes to Damian’s high school graduation. He was the valedictorian, of course. Jason and Alfred helped him write his speech.
  * Everyone volunteers to help out when Damian moves out for college. Freshmen are required to live in the dorms, but of course Bruce practically bought an entire dorm building so Damian could have his own room.
  * Tim and Duke help move boxes, Babs helps him get his schedule and stuff in order, Steph and Cass drop off food and congratulate him, Dick hugs him and cries for twenty minutes. Alfred helps him set up his room, Bruce drops by to nod stoically and tell Damian to come by for family dinners.
  * Jason stays with Damian long after everyone else has left, helping him straighten out everything and undo some of Alfred’s stiff British additions and Dick’s sloppy attempts at being helpful.
  * They put the food away and cook dinner together. They go over his class schedule and new patrol route for the fifth time.
  * Jason shows him pictures of all Damian’s pets and tells him they are settling down nicely in Jason’s apartment and he is welcome to visit whenever, of course.
  * Damian mentions maybe rebranding, finding a new mask to wear to bridge the gap between Robin and Batman. Jason helps him brainstorm for a while and tells him to talk more about it with Dick or Tim or Steph later.
  * Jason hugs Damian for a long time before he leaves, Damian smiles and hugs him back and thanks him for being there. Neither of them are crying. Absolutely not.
  * Jason pulls away and looks Damian in the eye and tells him he is a good kid, he is proud of him, and he loves him. He’s got a wonderful future ahead of him, and Jason is going to be with him every step of the way.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason strikes me as the type of guy who would make a wonderful father if given the chance. I don't know, just. Take This.


	4. Alternate Histories, Part 1: Jason John Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batkids backstory swap AU, starting with Jason Todd in Richard Grayson's backstory!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU inspired by kiragecko's fic "Alternate Histories".

Jason John Grayson (1st Blue Jay/Argonaut)

Jason John Grayson was born March 21st, 2000 to John and Mary Grayson.

2000-2012, Spring

  * Jason goes by ‘Jay’ because it’s a nickname his mom gave him, she said ‘Jason Grayson’ had too much alliteration. She also calls him Jay-Jay and Jaybird and Blue Jay, and reads to him before he goes to bed at night. His favorites are English legends like King Arthur and Robin Hood.
  * Jason was never very interested in the trapeze. His parents taught him some anyway and he knows how to use it safely, but he doesn’t have the right body type or the love of flying that make a successful trapeze artist, so his parents let it go and he never joined their act.
  * Everyone who worked at Haly’s Circus took it upon themselves to teach Jason some of their act so that when he grew up he could stay in the circus and do whatever job he wanted.
  * The clowns teach him how to apply face paint, the animal tamers show him how to direct the elephants, and (with his parent’s permission) the trick shooter teaches him how to use a gun. 



2012, Summer 

  * Haly’s Circus tours in Gotham, Zucco happens, and twelve year old Jason watches from the sidelines as his parents fall.
  * Since Jason wasn’t up on the trapeze Bruce didn’t stop to wrap his coat around a traumatized child’s shoulders and left pretty quick after the fall.
  * He didn’t realize the Graysons had a kid until he read their obituary in the news the next morning and immediately freaked out and called Gordon to find out what happened to him.
  * Apparently the twelve year old who just watched his parents die was sent to Saint Jude’s Orphanage because the foster system is maxed out, so guess who paid a buttload of money to become a legal guardian in under 24h?
  * Jason knows somebody murdered his parents and he is angry and in pain and being in a new location with people he doesn’t know scares him and that makes him more angry, and he adamantly does not get along with Bruce for the first few weeks of his stay.
  * Who does Bruce think he is, anyway? What makes Bruce think he can just step in and take over and be Jason’s parent or whatever?
  * Bruce tells Jason about his own parents' deaths but skimps on the details and is still somewhat putting on his himbo millionaire act, so Jason’s still pretty sure Bruce only took him in out of pity and for an image and does not appreciate being a charity case.
  * He does get along pretty well with Alfred, and Alfred starts to teach him how to cook and gives him free reign of the library. 



***

  * Jason starts re-reading Robin Hood since that was the last story his mom was reading to him, and gets the brilliant idea to go out and hunt down the guy who killed his parents himself.
  * Using old black workout clothes and some pieces of his parent’s costumes he puts together an outfit. Jason ties a blue scarf with holes in it over his eyes, and Blue Jay sneaks out of the manor.
  * He’s not flying over the rooftops or anything, but he knows how to sneak around and talk to people and he may or may not have a lead by the end of his third night out. He tells people to call him Blue Jay, and that he is going to bring Zucco to justice.
  * Batman finally runs across him when they both try to stop the same mugging on the fourth night and recognizes this crazy kid and his Flying Grayson costume immediately and is like ‘child. no. what are you doing.’ but doesn’t let on that he knows it’s Jason and instead tries to talk him into going home
  * Unfortunately, Jay is furious and stubborn as all get out and determined to take his parent’s killer down, and Batman eventually gives in and promises to let Blue Jay help with the case.
  * Blue Jay pretty much tells Batman his identity, and Batman figures it’s reasonable for him to have put it together from the evidence, so Batman lets on that he knows Blue Jay is Jason but Blue Jay doesn’t know Batman is Bruce.
  * Jason pestered him about his secret identity but doesn’t actually care much at this point as long as this guy helps him get Zucco
  * They start to work together, and as they get to know each other better they start to get closer. Jason trusts Batman a whole lot more than he trusts Bruce Wayne, and Bruce is finally getting to see the funny, intelligent kid hidden under the anger and grief.
  * They develop a rapport, and even though Batman manages to keep Blue Jay out of any fights they get into, Jason makes sure to be useful in collecting evidence and stopping petty crime as they traverse the city
  * Jason finds he’s really enjoying this, this helping people and stopping crime thing, and he feels something heavy inside him lift the first time a he saves someone from being mugged all by himself and they thank him profusely
  * He wonders if he can keep coming out and doing little stuff like that after they catch Zucco. Bruce hasn’t noticed him sneaking out yet, and surely Batman can be talked into letting him stay out and help even after Zucco is taken care of.
  * Batman does not take Blue Jay back to the Cave, but does trail him as he makes his way back to Wayne Manor every night to make sure he gets in safe. Jason thinks he’s being clever and giving the Bat the slip and does not pick up on this. 



***

  * They do the thing where they dismantle Zucco’s operations and gather evidence and track him down and fight their way through a warehouse
  * They finally corner Zucco as he tries to escape the warehouse. Blue Jay gets there first with Batman right behind him
  * Just as Batman catches up to them, Blue Jay picks up some thug’s fallen gun and aims it at Zucco
  * And, without hesitating, pulls the trigger
  * Zucco screams and falls to the ground, one of his knees shot out
  * The whole thing happened so fast Bruce didn’t even have time to register what he was seeing, but when Zucco keeps screaming he releases a breath and drops to his knees because this child he’s come to love did not commit murder
  * He steps in front of Jason and pulls the gun out of his hands and draws him into a hug, and just holds this precious child while he sobs into his shoulder
  * Eventually Batman lets go and ties up the thugs and Zucco and calls the police, and then picks Blue Jay up and carries him to the Batmobile and drives him to the cave 



***

  * Batman changes out of the Batsuit and reveals his identity as Bruce Wayne and helps Jason get out of costume and cleaned up, and then they sit in the medbay in silence for a bit
  * Jason is absolutely going to be more pissed about Bruce being Batman in the morning, but right now he’s just wrung out and trying to process everything that has happened in the last few weeks is just. He can’t.
  * His parents died, he got taken in by a millionaire who turned out to be a vigilante, he started doing vigilante stuff himself, he almost killed a guy. It’s a lot.
  * Bruce is honestly kinda freaking out over the fact that Jason’s first instinct was to reach for a gun and that he actually pulled the trigger and shot Zucco, even if it wasn’t fatal
  * Both of them sit for a bit and Bruce gives Jason a very tentative hug, and Jason goes stiff for a moment before melting into it
  * He doesn’t cry. He’s done enough crying. But he doesn’t talk either.
  * Bruce asks Jason why he shot Zucco. Jason answers that he didn’t want Zucco to get away, that he wanted him to be in pain and suffer for killing his parents. He deserved to die for what he did.
  * Bruce asks why he didn’t shoot to kill, then?
  * Jason takes a while to answer that one. Eventually he looks Bruce in the eyes and says he wanted to. He can’t really explain why he didn’t.
  * Bruce tells the full story of how his parents died and why he became Batman, and explains the difference between revenge and justice, and why vigilantes can’t kill no matter what
  * Jason stubbornly insists that some people do deserve to die, and killing them would be justice, and instead of trying to argue with him Bruce just says ‘yes, absolutely, but that doesn’t mean that decision is up to us’
  * Jason reluctantly concedes, figuring that he can’t say anything because he had a chance to kill someone who definitely deserved to die and did not take it
  * Bruce does the whole ‘were not gods so we can’t take life and death into our own hands, killing is always wrong no matter what, that’s why we work with the police and leave punishment up to the law’ speech
  * Making sure to tack on that committing murder would put them on the bad side of the police and probably get the government involved in taking them down which would be a huge waste of time for the government and make operating in Gotham very dangerous for them
  * Jason hasn’t missed the fact that Bruce has been saying ‘we’ and ‘us’ this whole time and casually points that out
  * Bruce kinda freezes because he had not been aware of that, but he’s gotten used to working with Blue Jay these last few weeks and has already started referring to them as a unit in his head
  * Jason notices the pause and lights up, because maybe that means that Batman will let him keep helping in the future and he really, really wants to be able to do that
  * This starts a long argument over whether or not Jason should be allowed to keep being Blue Jay, with Bruce’s main argument against being the fact that Jason is a Literal Child with no training and Jason’s main argument for being that he’s already proven how helpful he can be and Bruce is more than capable of training him to be safe
  * Bruce is eventually talked into agreeing to a probationary training period, mostly because he sees the same righteous anger and desire to help other in Jason that he himself has
  * Also because he knows that if he says no he’s going to be spending a significant portion of his time in the future trying to keep Jason from sneaking off to the streets on his own, and he really does not want to deal with that
  * Bruce goes to bed wondering what the hell he’s done and freaking out over weather he’ll be able to keep a child safe on the streets, and wakes up in the morning excited about the prospect of having a partner and being a mentor to such a wonderful kid as Jason
  * Jason goes to bed excited about being able to make a difference in the world and wakes up in the middle of the night wondering what would have happened if he killed Zucco, and if killing was really as black and white as Bruce made it out to be, and if his parents would be proud of or disappointed by the choices he’s made



2012, Fall/Winter 

  * Batman starts training Blue Jay, and Bruce tries to help Jason get settled into permanently being his ward and all that entails.
  * Galas are tough. Jason knows how to perform and get people to like him but he is still very much an introvert at heart and sees through most people’s fake smiles easily
  * He makes it his mission to fade into the background at these things as much as he can
  * He misses traveling, and Haly’s Circus, and hates being stuck in one place, and ends up throwing his time and attention into training and school to forget about the fact that he’s stuck in a stuffy old manor in a damp old city until he’s eighteen at least
  * After being homeschooled his whole life going to a private academy is a trip, but Jason loves it
  * The whole ‘charity case’ thing makes him an easy target, but again, he knows how to entertain and get people to like him, so pretty soon he becomes a familiar and friendly face to most people at Gotham Academy, if not an actual friend to anyone
  * He does have a temper and does get in fights at first, but eventually decides the best way to get through school is to work on fading into the background much like he does at Galas
  * That does not go for his grades
  * He works hard and spends his lunch and free periods in the library, and pretty soon he’s at the top of his class, which does indeed make him more of a target but he’s better at avoiding bullies now than he was in the first few weeks of school
  * Jason figures if being rich means having access to the best education money can buy it’s not all that bad, but he also never forgets studying from disintegrating textbooks thirty years out of date in his parents trailer, or the fact that most of the people who worked at the circus never graduated high school, or the crime statistics Batman makes him memorize about the school to prison pipeline, or the stories the scholarship students tell (and don’t tell) about their home lives
  * He reads and reads and reads about poverty and education, both in novel and data form, and files all that information away for later 



2013, Spring/Summer 

  * After almost a year of training, Blue Jay debuts on Jason’s thirteenth birthday
  * Commissioner Gordon is not pleased, but forms a strong rapport with ‘that darn sarcastic kid’ after only a few weeks of knowing him
  * Jason is having the time of his life. He sees first hand how he can be helpful and save lives, and his self confidence and self-worth soars
  * He gets to know Gotham, and after a while living in one city for the rest of his childhood doesn’t seem so bad if it’s Gotham, with all her nooks and crannies and strangeness
  * He’s good at dealing with people, even if most of it is still an act he learned at the circus mixed with some good instincts
  * But, he has a lot of natural empathy and as he works with victims and gets to know the people on the streets he builds relationships with the homeless and sex workers and addicts that roam around at night
  * Batman usually lets Blue Jay do the talking and comforting when they rescue someone, figuring a kid is a lot less threatening than a hulking man in a Batsuit (he’s right) and that gives Blue Jay plenty of practice
  * Blue Jay tends to jump into things without looking, and has a ‘punch first, ask questions later’ approach to most crime fighting that doesn’t always work
  * He’s really clever with the detective stuff, riddles and codes and picking up information about people from their appearance especially, and enjoys getting the answers right but doesn’t enjoy it as much as he enjoys fieldwork
  * The two things Batman is continually working on with Blue Jay are his impulsiveness and his tendency to get sloppy if he’s mad
  * Jason has a lot of empathy and a quick temper, and that lends itself to getting really upset over bad situations and making bad decisions in the moment. But they’re working on it.
  * Pretty soon the pair has become household names, and Blue Jay’s grin is as famous as Batman’s frown 



2014-2018

  * Big world ending disaster happens, and Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman form the Justice League with the Flash, the Martian Manhunter, Aquaman, and Green Lantern.
  * They decide to work together for the foreseeable future, and start meeting up regularly and introduce their partners/sidekicks to each other
  * Blue Jay thinks Wonder Woman is the coolest ever, ‘I mean come on B, she’s a freaking greek myth come to life and she’s got girl power!!!’
  * Wonder Woman is also very impressed with this teenager dressed in black and blue who has read Homer and every greek myth he can get his hands on and knows more about the pantheon than anyone else she’s met in the modern world.
  * They end up becoming friends/building a mentor and mentee relationship of a sort and sit around and talk about ancient history and mythology and spar with swords when Batman lets them hang out
  * Bruce is not enthusiastic about the swords but at least it’s not guns???
  * It was slow going at first, but Blue Jay has learned to look before he leaps and how to channel his anger into precision hits, so his discipline on the field is kind of awe inspiring even to the older heroes
  * Eventually Blue Jay forms the Teen Titans with Kid Flash, Aqualad and Wonder Girl, and starts to split his time between missions with his team and working with Batman
  * He prefers to work with Batman or do solo stuff in Gotham, but he can admit to the benefits of having a lot of variously talented back-up and actually does make pretty good friends with everyone on the Titans, especially Speedy/Roy when he joins later on
  * Bruce and Jason develop a really strong relationship now that they aren’t keeping secrets, and Jason gets Bruce to do all sorts of actual father son stuff when they aren’t training or punching out criminals
  * Bruce never brings up adoption, and Jason is honestly kinda nervous to bring it up because he doesn’t want to push for more and accidentally push Bruce away altogether, so despite the increasingly father and son vibes of their relationship they stay guardian and ward
  * Jason tries not to be bitter about that, but he kinda is. He’s been Bruce’s kid for years now in all but name, so what is stopping Bruce from making it legal? What is the matter with him that Bruce doesn’t want to be his dad for real?
  * Bruce explained the whole ‘I don’t want to replace your parents’ thing when the guardianship first became a thing, but that was before Jason even liked Bruce. They have a real relationship now and ought to talk this whole legal relationship to each other thing out
  * But they never do. 



2019, Winter/Spring 

  * Jason decided he wanted to be a high school English teacher when he was still in high school himself and applied to the best teaching programs in the country.
  * Mostly because he knows that teachers who care play an important part in keeping kids off the streets, but also because he loves books and knows from experience how they inspire people and change lives.
  * He gets his acceptance letter from Hudson university over winter break and accepts the spot immediately.
  * Since he’s going to be moving to New Carthage to go to college, Jason and Bruce sit down and have a long talk about what this is going to mean for Blue Jay
  * Jason is adamant that he stays Blue Jay and continues to work with the Teen Titans when he can, and patrol in Gotham as Blue Jay on his breaks/over the summer.
  * Bruce doesn’t like that he’s going to be splitting his attention between so many things, and wants Jason to either drop Teen Titans or give up Blue Jay all together, but Jason isn’t having it



2019, Spring/Summer

  * And then the whole incident with getting shot by the Joker happens, and Bruce is freaked out and really thinking about the consequences of his kid dying in costume for the first time since Jason started, and decides he’s not going to let his kid ruin his future by either dying or failing college because his attention was elsewhere
  * So Batman fires Blue Jay.
  * The media already thinks Blue Jay got shot fatally, so it’s the perfect cover story. Jason can move away and start life fresh without these old responsibilities holding him back
  * Jason is livid, this is his persona and his costume and Bruce has no right to take it away or try to control his life. He just turned nineteen, and Bruce isn’t his ‘real’ dad anyway.
  * All he wants to do is help people and the only way he knows how to do that right now is dress up in spandex and punch out criminals
  * Bruce gives him the whole speech about destiny/makes it clear that Jason is free to do what he wants now that he’s an adult and about to move away and start college, and if that means continuing to be a vigilante so be it. But it won’t be with Batman and it hopefully won’t be as Blue Jay.
  * Jason is still pissed, even if he kinda gets it, and he packs up to spend the rest of the summer with the Titans before heading off to college
  * Batman has some JL work to do shortly after that and since Wonder Woman and Superman know him pretty well they pick up that something happened and manage to get details out of him about what went down with Blue Jay
  * Superman and Batman sit down to have a conversation, and Wonder Woman goes to find Jason and talk to him and see how he’s taking this
  * She tracks him down at Titans Tower and asks if they can talk
  * After a quick sword fighting session to un-pent Jason’s aggression, they sit down on the roof and talk about identity and wanting to help people and the many ways that can be done
  * Wonder Woman gets all excited about Jason wanting to be a teacher and goes on about how ignorance is Man’s greatest enemy and how Jason’s love for learning and stories and the empathy he has developed through them is going to change the world, even if he never fights crime in spandex again he can make a difference and save lives
  * She tells Jason some ‘never before told’ stories about his namesake, Jason the Argonaut, and his quests around the world and bravely and cleverness in defeating evil, and about the importance of having both a long term goal and short term goals, and about taking each challenge and adventure as it comes, and about trusting his team to have his back
  * Jason says ‘why the hell not’ and designs a new costume. 



2019, Fall/Winter 

  * The summer goes great, by the time school starts Bruce and Jason aren’t really talking but also aren’t going out of their way to avoid each other
  * Blue Jay hasn’t been sighted since being shot by the Joker, but Argonaut makes his debut that summer with the Teen Titans and Jason is ecstatic to be working on his own and pursuing his own goals
  * As much as being fired hurt, he’s also kinda happy that he had the chance to break free of both Gotham and Batman and come into his own
  * Argonaut takes up residence in New Carthage when the school year starts (isn’t fate artistic?) and Jason is managing to balance all his responsibilities quite well, thank you very much, Bruce
  * Jason is considering going home for winter break and talking this thing out with Bruce like adults. He’s gotten over his anger and misses Alfred’s cooking
  * But, when he reads the Gotham news to see what’s been happening in his adopted city, he sees a picture of Batman and Blue Jay dropping criminals off in front of the GCPD
  * His vision goes red



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may have gotten out of hand... 
> 
> I am so not confident in my knowledge of these characters or their timelines, but this was fun to write and research for so I guess I'll keep going!
> 
> I have one section planned for each kid, so eight in total. Hopefully I'll have one section up each week from now through, um... *counting on my fingers* February? Yeah. Sounds right. Cool. Enjoy???


	5. Batkids and Food: Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick Grayson's relationship with food over the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for eating disorders, specifically bulimia/bingeing and purging. 
> 
> I feel like I kinda cheated with this one because I already wrote a fic with this concept a while ago (it's called Eat, Drink, and Be Merry if you want to check it out) BUT this outline goes in a very different direction so I figured I could risk it.

  * Dick has connected foods with emotions since he was a little kid. His mom always baked something for him when he was in a bad mood, and of course to celebrate big events, so he associates sweets with family time and being happy and safe.
  * This does not change when he goes to stay with Bruce. Alfred gives him milk and cookies or something on his first night in the manor, and he just sobs because it tastes like home and his mom and dad and he’s never going to get to eat her cooking again
  * But at the same time, it makes him feel better, so when he’s upset about something he asks Alfred to make cookies
  * Alfred does not always oblige, because he wants this kid to develop healthy eating habits and stuff, but Dick knows where the chocolate chips are kept and sneaks out handfuls anyway 



***

  * It doesn’t escalate from there until the Titans, where Dick is pretty much in charge of his own diet for the first time ever, and immediately switches from the typical protein packed stuff that Alfred always made to sugary cereal for breakfast
  * It makes him happy and jumpy first thing in the morning, and he always drinks a protein shake with it too, so it’s not like he’s missing out on any nutrients or anything. And he needs the calories anyway, so…



***

  * It finally reaches its breaking point in Bludhaven. Dick is alone, so whenever the homesickness gets too bad he eats something that reminds him of spending time with his family and friends.
  * Pizza night was big with the Titans, so Dick gorges himself on pizza and ice cream when he’s missing them. Cookies for when he is sad and missing family. Sugary cereal first thing every morning.
  * He rationalizes all of this because of the fact that he burns more calories than a regular person anyway, and he’s not gaining weight or noticing any other adverse effects, so it’s fine to eat junk all the time, right?
  * All it takes is one day where he feels the worst he has in months and is on the verge of breaking down, so he orders in. Probably pizza. He eats enough in one sitting that he makes himself throw up by accident, but he feels so much better afterwards
  * So he does it again the next time he feels that bad
  * And again the next time
  * And again
  * And again and again until it’s become a pattern and he can make himself throw up easily on command and it’s become his first instinct when sad or lonely 



***

  * Over the next few years he develops a system and tries to regulate and stuff because he knows what he is doing is dangerous and if it gets out of control he could seriously hurt himself, but because he has that system in place he makes an effort to eat healthy when he’s not purposefully binging
  * He feels happy, feels like he has control, and that’s really all that matters to him right now



***

  * He manages to convince Bruce to go out for coffee with him when he’s in Gotham, and since Bruce could care less about food counts that as a win
  * Tim joins the family, and Dick drags him out for burgers because this kid is skinny as hell and also needs big brother bonding time
  * Dick and Cass visit all of the Chinese restaurants in Gotham over the course of three months to determine which one is the most authentic, and then make a list of their favorite ones to visit when she is in town
  * Jason comes back, and Dick talks him into getting burgers after patrol a few times until Jason is comfortable enough that he will invite Dick back to a safe house where they can cook together and talk and hang out
  * While Bruce is ‘dead’ Dick and Damian start a tradition of going out for ice cream after patrol every night



***

  * For Dick, food is tied into all of his happy family memories and is essential to establishing new bonds and maintaining old ones. It’s his security blanket, his coping method, the tie that binds him to the people he loves
  * It’s also hurting him
  * Before he knows it he is completely dependent on food to regulate his mood, and feels sick to his stomach whenever he eats enough to be full, and starts to break his scheduled binge and purge routine dangerously
  * Dick’s health is going downhill, and Alfred knows something is up but doesn’t really get much of a chance to investigate because Dick isn’t living at the manor 



***

  * One weekend Dick stays over and binges in his room, and Tim hears him throwing up and runs to get Alfred
  * Alfred sees the empty wrappers and boxes by the bed and finds Dick crying on the floor of his bathroom covered in snot and vomit, and puts the pieces together
  * Dick asks him not to tell anyone, and Alfred says he won’t if Dick actually tries to get help
  * Dick does some research and with Alfred’s encouragement sets up appointments with a therapist and a specialist
  * He moves back into the manor for a while so Alfred can monitor his eating, and stops going out to get food with his siblings and tries to find other activities they can do that don’t involve eating. They are kinda confused, but just go with it. Some actually appreciate it.
  * He works with the specialist and the therapist and comes up with a plan, and it’s rough going at first but Alfred is there, and Tim because Tim figured it out a long time ago and just never said anything because he didn’t think it was his place
  * Dick eventually tells Bruce, and it’s the first time he’s seen Bruce cry since Jason’s funeral.
  * He’s getting better, but it’s slow going, and when he gets depressed or cries he doesn’t always know if he is crying for his lost family and friends or because he is missing sweets and that really messes with his head 



***

  * When Duke comes to live with them, Dick asks him if he wants to go see a play



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I have this headcanon, but I suspect it has to do with Dick's canonical attachment to cereal and the role cereal played in my own struggles with food. So. I don't have one of these for each of the batkids, but most of them? Hopefully? Damian and Tim and probably Cass too at least.


	6. Batkids and Food: Jason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason Todd's relationship with food over the years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw for starvation and food insecurity/food hoarding.

  * Growing up in Crime Alley, Jason and his family technically lived in a food desert, which just means that there were no grocery stores close by and finding affordable and healthy food for sale in their neighborhood was hard.
  * Jason grows up on mac and cheese from a box, bologna sandwiches, chili dogs, and cereal. Canned or frozen veggies on occasion and fruit when it’s on sale
  * Catherine applies for WIC and foodstamps and whatever else she qualifies for, but doesn’t always fill out the applications correctly or renew them, so they couldn’t always count on those programs
  * Jason gets free breakfast and lunch at school, so most days Catherine just has to worry about dinner
  * Sometimes they eat at soup kitchens over school breaks, especially in the summer or to get a hot meal in the winter.
  * Coupons and free meals for kids are kept track of and utilized, and there is a food pantry within walking distance that usually has fresh fruit
  * Catherine tried, but by the time Jason was eight she was pretty deep into drugs and regular dinners and stops at soup kitchens went out the window in favor of whatever Jason could find whenever he could find it
  * He can’t go to soup kitchens by himself because unaccompanied kids get reported, but sometimes a neighbor will bring him and he always gets a to go box for his mom 



***

  * Jason thought he knew what being hungry was like, but hunger on the streets is different
  * Missing a meal or two when you are warm and loved is no hardship compared to going days without food, cold and damp and utterly alone. It’s more that hunger eating away at you, more than lack of food sapping your strength
  * But Jason is stubborn, and Jason wants to live, and something as stupid as starvation isn’t going to get him
  * Jason steals and dumpster dives and begs and lingers outside soup kitchens as long as he dares waiting for adults he recognizes that would be willing to take him inside
  * He doesn’t die 



***

  * By the time Bruce takes him in Jason is almost thirteen and hasn’t had access to regular, healthy meals for his entire life, so on top of being extremely malnourished he is also very insecure about food
  * In his first few months in the manor he cleans his plate at every meal obsessively, and gets very upset when Bruce doesn’t (not that Bruce didn’t clean his plate often, he was raised by Alfred after all, but he knows to stop eating when he’s full)
  * Jason makes himself sick a few times eating three full portions a day before Alfred catches on and works out a meal plan for him to wean him onto a healthy and filling diet
  * He is not used to eating at set times either, and especially doesn’t get the whole ‘family breakfast before school’ thing, but figures if he lives here he’s gotta follow the rules (also, Alfred) 



***

  * After Jason is reasonably sure they aren’t going to throw him back on the streets, he sneaks into the kitchen and steals canned goods and granola bars and hides them around the manor and in his room
  * Alfred knows the stuff is missing and comes across most of the hidden food, but he knows what’s up and wants Jason to feel safe so he leaves the stashes alone and cleans around them



***

  * Alfred offers to teach Jason to cook in an effort to bond with him and give him more security, and Jason immediately accepts.
  * He knew some about cooking before since he was pretty much in charge of feeding himself from the age of seven or eight, but cooking from scratch and making Raman noodles are two different skill sets.
  * He is a perfect student, is very excited about cooking, and wants to get it right, so they cook together on and off for years, and Jason is pretty accomplished by the end of Alfred’s lessons
  * Jason eventually relaxes into the routine of eating good food regularly/eating with family, but still always cleans his plate and keeps one or two stashes around the manor and in his room
  * He also carries at least six protein bars in his utility belt. Batman notices, but doesn’t say anything. 



***

  * Jason is the kind of kid who will try anything. He will literally eat anything, anytime. If you put it in front of him and call it edible, it’s gone.
  * Doesn’t matter if he is full already, but over time he learns to turn down more food if he has already eaten enough.
  * He has opinions on what makes a proper meal, but doesn’t let them get in the way of eating. 



***

  * After a few years with Bruce, his body is still a bit messed up from the early malnutrition
  * When he turns fifteen he is only just starting puberty, but Alfred says he’ll probably still get a decent growth-spurt in
  * And then he dies 



***

  * And comes back
  * Eating during assassin training is easy, in some ways. He has no control over when, where, or what he eats, so he just eats when, where, and what they tell him too and steals/saves the occasional protein bar to hide under a floorboard when he can. He doesn’t think about it too much. He’s got other things to think about. 



***

  * When he gets back to Gotham part of the standard safehouse set up he does is stash at least two weeks worth of nonperishable food there, as well as setting up catches of protein bars on random roof-tops and scouting out the local food pantries and soup kitchens
  * He has places to cook for himself if he wanted to, and he does, but sometimes he goes out and eats at a soup kitchen for lunch or dinner
  * He wears a hat pulled low and sits in the back, and rotates between the half dozen or so kitchens around The Narrows, avoiding the ones he frequented as a child 



***

  * When Bruce gets his head out of his ass and starts trying to patch things up with Jason for real, the first thing he does is invite him over for dinner. Every week. Eventually, Jason accepts one of the invitations, and even arrives early to see if Alfred needs help.
  * Alfred does not, but accepts the offer anyway and spends some time catching up with his long lost grandson and asking about the foods he tried during his travels.
  * Eating Alfred’s food again for the first time in five years makes Jason cry, and he doesn’t even really try to hide it. 



***

  * Jason still carries protein bars on him at all times, and when he patrols with one of his siblings he always offers them one when they take a break. Tim and Dami and Steph and Cass and Duke are all surprised at first, but Dick and Babs kinda remember this about Jason, and just accept it with a smile.



***

  * When he stays the night at the Manor for the first time-- in a guest room, not his old room-- he finds a box of granola bars in the back of his closet, and isn’t sure if Alfred or Bruce left it there.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Food deserts are actually really common in urban areas in the USA. What happens is that popular grocery store chains don't want to set up in areas with really low property values, so places with large populations below the poverty line just don't have grocery stores. You can pick up prepackaged food from gas stations and drug stores, but fresh food is pretty much out of the question unless you want to take a bus to or can get a ride to the nice side of town where all the food is. Same goes for restaurants. Fast food chains? Sure. Anything where people can go inside and sit and order and meal to be cooked by a chef in a kitchen? No way. 
> 
> So. Have this.


	7. Batkids and Food: Tim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim Drake's relationship with food over the years.

  * Tim’s had to feed himself pretty much as long as he could remember. When he was younger he had a nanny, but one of his first memories is of burning his hand on the stove while trying to heat up soup, so he’s not really sure how that worked out practically
  * He’s never had to really cook, it’s always just been assembling things like sandwiches or salads or heating up the food the housekeeper left
  * He knows how to scramble an egg and boil water and use the microwave and that’s about it
  * He eats when he’s hungry, and sometimes he doesn’t notice he’s hungry, so while he’s not exactly starving he’s not exactly the picture of health either
  * Food doesn’t take up much of his time, maybe ten minutes to heat something up and eat it mechanically, alone, usually silently. Food is fuel, and he treats it like such. 



***

  * Boarding school is different. Boarding school is institution food and set meal times and loud loud loud cafeterias that hurt his head and make him feel too sick to eat much of his carefully portioned servings
  * Once he figures out how to sneak away from the adults, he skips as many meals as he can get away with and spends meal times hiding in quiet places or sneaking around the school
  * He only gets caught once or twice, and keeps a stash of potato chips hidden under a floorboard in his room for days when he can’t bring himself to brave the mess at all



***

  * Alfred's food is different. Alfred makes the same sort of stuff his housekeeper stocked the fridge with, but Alfred’s food is warm evenly through and doesn’t have the metallic microwave tang Tim’s learned to associate with hot food 



***

  * Tim expects Bruce to ignore him at meals like his parents did the few times they ate together, but nope. Bruce asks questions about his day, and seems genuinely interested in the answers. He tells Tim about his own day in a way that doesn’t feel condescending, and seems almost disappointed when Tim doesn’t ask questions.
  * So Tim tentatively clears his throat and asks a question.
  * Bruce lights up (as much as Bruce ever does) and draws Tim into a conversation about the WE R&D department and some of the new designs their looking at
  * Before he knows it, it’s been forty-five minutes and Tim hasn’t even finished his plate



***

  * He’s nervous to eat dinner with more people than Bruce, memories of the noise and headache of cafeteria meals coloring his opinion of eating with a crowd, but Sunday family dinners at the Manor aren’t like that at all.
  * It’s just Dick at first, and occasionally Babs and Steph later on, and then Cass too, and finally Jason after a healthy margin of time has passed.
  * (That first Sunday dinner with Jason was the most awkward meal Tim has ever sat through, and the only saving grace was Alfred’s homemade ice cream.)
  * Before he knows it, Tim is looking forward to meals at the Manor, at home, surrounded by family.
  * He’s gained body fat along with the muscle from training and is no longer considered underweight, much to Alfred, Leslie, and Bruce’s relief
  * He’s feeling better than he ever has in his life, he has more energy and feels more confident about his appearance, and after one memorable outing with Young Justice decides that pizza with pineapple is a hill he is willing to die on
  * Memories of good food that is never leftovers and laughter that is never too loud start to replace microwave soup and cafeteria clatter, and Tim privately mourns his lost childhood and family over cups of Alfred’s tea, happy for where and who he is now but aching for where and who he used to be



***

  * Damian shatters Tim’s reality like so much glass
  * Family meals go from a refuge to a battleground overnight, and Tim can’t. He just can’t.
  * Damian can have his dad, his big brother, his spot in the family, but Tim is not going to allow the little homunculus to wreck the memories of when they were his
  * Tim stops eating with the family, stops coming down for meals if he knows Damian is going to be there
  * He starts going out to eat dinner with Jason or Steph or swinging by a fastfood place on his way to start patrol
  * Bruce doesn’t comment, overwhelmed by the responsibilities of his new son
  * Alfred doesn’t comment, except to frown when Tim tells him he’ll be spending Sundays with Young Justice from now on 



***

  * And then Bruce is gone.
  * But he isn’t dead. 



***

  * Every mealtime habit he formed over the years goes out the window along with his faith in humanity when Tim decides to find Bruce
  * He’s mentally back to the little kid eating microwave soup in his empty mansion, forgetting meals or not eating enough by turns, secure in his knowledge that food is fuel and as long as he’s still running he’s fine
  * He loses weight rapidly, but that’s fine too because he’s got a new suit now and it doesn’t have to fit the way his old one did
  * He’s fine. He’s got this under control. He’s got potato chips in his go bag and canned food in his safehouses, and he’s used to this. He’s used to eating alone.
  * So why does it hurt so much more now when the only sound he hears during meals is his own chewing and the scrape of the spoon against the can? 



***

  * Alfred fusses over Tim more than he fusses over Bruce when they first get back
  * Tim doesn’t hang around the manor long, just enough to grab anything he missed when he moved out and allow Alfred to stuff him full of chicken parmesan in the kitchen
  * He leaves hours before dinner is served
  * He ignores the invitations that come weekly afterwards 



***

  * It’s Jason that finally makes Tim go back
  * He breaks into Tim’s apartment just after eleven o’clock on a Sunday and drags him bodily out of bed, shoving a change of clothes into his arms and then picking him up and physically carrying him outside to Jason’s bike
  * Tim is on the verge of crying because he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want to go back and see everyone happy and noisy and content without him, he doesn’t want to get near family and Alfred’s food and Damian at the same time and risk contamination
  * But. He is not going to have a breakdown while wearing pajamas with his arms warped around his big brother’s waist going a hundred on the freeway, so he holds it in until he can get to the privacy of a bathroom or something
  * It’s just Bruce and Dick and Damian when Tim and Jason arrive. They are stiff and polite and it’s like they don’t know how to act around him anymore. Tim isn’t sure what to do, but Jason just rolls his eyes and ushers him to a bathroom so he can have a quick breakdown and change
  * By the time Tim’s dried his eyes and exited the bathroom Jason is in the middle of a shouting match with Bruce and Steph and Cass have arrived and launch themselves at him for hugs
  * Jason storms off and Bruce face palms and comes over to gently hug Tim and say he’s missed seeing his face at meals and Tim almost starts crying all over again 



***

  * Tim’s first Sunday dinner back isn’t quite as awkward as Jason’s, but it’s a close second
  * Damian doesn’t say a word the entire time. Dick tries to start a conversation but Tim shuts him down immediately. Jason scowls whenever he catches Bruce’s eye and Bruce’s mouth is set in a thin line for a good portion of dinner
  * But.
  * Bruce eventually relaxes once Jason starts ignoring him and manages to get Tim talking about the modifications he made to his suit and gear without getting into why he made those modifications, and Steph and Jason start arguing about something down at the foot of the table while Cass laughs at them, and Alfred’s food is hot and good and tastes like home and family instead of ash and regret and Tim can’t quite hold the tears back by the time the get to dessert
  * If anybody sees anything, nobody says anything 



***

  * He doesn’t go back every Sunday. He still eats potato chips and microwave soup alone in his apartment. He’s underweight again, and Leslie is on his case about that every time he sees her.
  * But. Every month or so he gets up at a reasonable hour and puts on nice clothes and heads to the manor.
  * Damian doesn’t talk to him, and he doesn’t talk to Dick. Bruce is hit or miss depending on how many of his kids are currently upset with him.
  * But. Jason, Steph, and Cass always hug him, and Alfred’s food still tastes like home. The noise in the dining room is never too much, and Tim always leaves feeling warm and loved and a little bit scared and little bit more understanding of what it was like for Jason all those years ago 



***

  * Tim celebrates his eighteenth birthday at the manor with a family dinner and homemade cake, and even Damian gets him a present.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jason is pissed at Bruce for not working hard to bring Tim back to the family, in case that wasn't clear...
> 
> I know this wasn't so much about food as it was about family meals, but, uh... Family meals were a big part of my childhood, and one of the things that makes me so sad about Tim is thinking of him eating all alone for years and years. Just, tragic.


	8. The Five Robins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A batfam retelling of "The Six Swans".

  * So Bruce is the king of the small kingdom of Gotham, right? And he’s got all these adopted kids. Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass, and Duke. Dick and Tim are engaged to Babs and Steph.
  * Alfred is the steward of the castle and also father/grandfather of the family
  * Gordon is the Constable/in charge of peacekeeping in the city surrounding the castle
  * Bruce and Selina are maybe a thing, maybe not. Mostly because Selina is allergic to responsibility and adamantly does not want to be queen, so they keep their relationship casual



***

  * Because this is a fairytale au and I can do what I want, humans having fae blood of some kind is pretty common in Bruce’s kingdom
  * Dick has some sylph blood on his mother’s side, Tim has some drake blood on his father’s side, Jason came back to life randomly after a bloody assassination and they're all pretty sure he has some phoenix blood but absolutely nobody wants to test it, Duke’s father was a son of Apollo
  * Cass is definitely not entirely human but she doesn’t know who her mother was, so nobody knows what she is but they love her anyway
  * Their best guess right now is a siren because of her people reading abilities and inhuman throat that makes speaking hard, she mostly communicates via sign-speak
  * Babs is part elf on her mother’s side and Steph is part pixie on her father’s side
  * Bruce is a bat shifter and Selina is a cat shifter, and Alfred has some brownie blood
  * Not much of this is really relevant I just want to make sure you know 



***

  * And then one day Talia al Ghul (literal daughter of a demon in this au) just kinda appears with Damian in tow and announces that he’s Bruce’s kid and she needs Bruce to watch him while she deals with political upheaval in the League
  * (The League of Shadows is a group of political schemers led by the immortal demon Ra’s al Ghul. They are kinda like an evil White Lotus who are spread throughout all of the kingdoms and all the nobility and basically control who is in power all over pseudo-fairytale Europe. They have been trying to get a foothold in Gotham for forever, but Bruce dropped out of the organization as soon as he realized political assassinations were involved and has successfully kept them out of his city and nobility since he knows what signs their members leave.) 



***

  * Bruce is surprised but accepting. Talia leaves after like a week and Damian ends up staying at the castle indefinitely.
  * Damian makes it clear he does not like any of his siblings and thinks he should be the one to inherit the throne since he is the only ‘real’ child of the king.
  * Bruce and the kids try to spend time with him, but right now any efforts to be friendly aren’t particularly effective
  * It hasn’t been decided who is going to rule when Bruce dies/retires, but the assumption is that it’s going to be Tim since he does the most to help run the kingdom, so Damian is especially antagonistic against him. 



***

  * Dick does not approve of Damian’s actions, but instead of being upset like Bruce and the rest of family decides to pull out all the stops to make Damian feel welcome, and works hard to include him in every family activity and give him a hug every time they cross paths in the hopes that Damian will relax and settle in
  * It doesn’t appear to be working, but Dick keeps it up anyway
  * He tells Damian every chance he gets that he loves him
  * Damian scowls in response 



***

  * This goes on for like two months, and then Bruce gets suddenly called away to a multi-kingdom council meeting or something and just. Never comes back.
  * They manage to find out that he was at the meeting and it went really well, but he and his whole entourage disappeared into thin air on their way back to the castle
  * He was only supposed to be gone a week, and when that stretches to two weeks and then into three weeks Selina decides to go after him and find out what happened
  * It is too early to officially freak out about this, but Tim is named temporary King or whatever and the siblings all gather to talk about what’s going to happen depending on what Selina finds on her trip
  * That’s when Talia makes her move.



***

  * Tim, Steph, Dick, Cass, Duke, and Jason are all hanging out in the garden having an impromptu meeting about what’s going to happen if Bruce is dead and how they are going to find him if he’s missing, Babs is in the castle covering for them with Alfred
  * Damian shows up out of nowhere, and, with a totally blank face, releases a spell over them
  * As soon as the spell is released the boys step in front of Cass and Steph to shield them, Steph is still hit but Cass isn’t
  * She takes off running, makes it over the garden wall and into the woods with five newly transformed robins flying close behind her
  * She eventually loses Damian deep in the woods and heads to the cottage of a nature witch and her wife (Ivy and Harley) who are good friends of Selina’s and know the kids pretty well.
  * They shelter Cass and the birds and Ivy looks over the spell and figures out how to break it 



***

  * They get a message to Babs and Alfred asking them to come to the house for a strategy meeting, and Babs shows up in the dead of night with news.
  * Damian is saying he has no idea where his siblings are, and that he has called his mother to come stay at the castle for the time being so he won’t be alone.
  * Babs is pretty sure Talia arranged this whole thing in order to get control of the throne through Damian, Ivy confirms this because the spell Damian used was not performed by him and would have been given to him in advance to release/set off under specific circumstances
  * Speaking of the spell, Ivy knows how to break it but it’s pretty much all up to Cass
  * Basically, Cass has to harvest, spin, and knit tunics out of stinging nettles for each bird, and can’t make a sound the entire time she does. Once all the tunics are complete and she puts them on the birds, the spell will be broken and she can talk again
  * Apparently the ‘no sound’ rule is not a ‘no talking’ rule, so Cass rolls her eyes and signs that she should be fine and asks Ivy how to get started
  * The robins aren’t really present as themselves, but Ivy says they are aware enough to know that Cass is safe and they will probably stick around her
  * Cass decides to stay at Harley and Ivy’s the whole time she works on the tunics because she doesn’t want to be caught and because all her robin siblings seemed to have settled down here and don’t fly far from the clearing
  * Ivy grows Cass some stinging needles and shows her how to get started and then sets up a bunch of plant based traps around her cottage to deter anyone trying to sneak up on them or whatever 



***

  * Back at the castle, Talia has arrived and she and Babs are trying to undermine each other’s authority
  * Babs has enough power as a future princess and the Constable’s daughter to stop her from doing anything too crazy, at least until Bruce gets back or Cass frees her siblings
  * She feeds info on the situation back to Ivy and Cass, but hasn’t been able to get ahold of Selina to see how the Bruce hunt is going so nobody knows what’s happening on that end and pretty much everyone is way more worried
  * Alfred is in charge of the household and is trying to subtly make Talia feel unwelcome by serving food she doesn’t like and not cleaning her quarters
  * Talia gets fed up with that real fast and fires Alfred
  * Babs can’t do much so Alfred packs his bags and goes to stay with Gordon in the city until this is all over, saying he’ll be available if needed 



***

  * Talia has declared a state of emergency and named Damian temporary king with herself as regent, the whole kingdom is freaking out and Babs and Alfred and Gordon are working overtime to ensure that people know this isn’t permanent and Bruce and his kids are coming back (no matter what Talia insinuates) and everything is under control in the meantime
  * Damian told his mother that he missed one of his siblings and she is now determined to track Cass down
  * She sets up some tracking spells and sends men out to search through the woods, and pretty soon it’s a full blown operation
  * She also punishes Damian for not only failing to get Cass but for failing to capture the robins once they were turned
  * Damian spends a few days in his room healing up from his punishment and thinking back to the way Bruce and Dick had talked to him and touched him and smiled at him, and the way his other siblings tried to reach out to him and only showed their annoyance with eye rolls and sarcastic remarks.
  * He thinks about the way Dick told him he loved him. 



***

  * Cass is working on those tunics and everything is going pretty well, she is messing up her hands badly but making steady progress and the no noise thing is her normal anyway
  * Babs catches on to Talia trying to hunt her down and sends a secure message to Ivy and Harley to warn them to watch out, but so far Ivy’s shielding spells are working
  * The robins spends their days flying around the clearing and bothering Cass and Harley, and Harley has been spending a lot of time messing around with them and keeping them entertained 



***

  * A month or so goes by like that. No word from Selina, Talia and Babs locked in a power struggle, Cass weaving and knitting tiny tunics with Ivy’s help while Harley chases robins in the backyard.
  * The royal guard disappears person by person, and one day Babs loses contact with her dad and Alfred from where they'ed been trying to keep peace in the city  
Damian is watching his mother closer than he ever has before.
  * One day he asks if she loves him, and she tells him love is for the peasantry. 



***

  * One of Talia’s spells finally gets through Ivy’s defenses and Talia ambushes the cottage with a few dozen men from her personal guard/the LoS
  * Ivy and Harley try to fight them off while Cass and the birds escape, but they are eventually overwhelmed and the cottage is surrounded so Cass does not get far
  * She turns a corner and comes face to face with Damian, who was leading the men who came up behind the cottage while his mother led the ones who came around the front
  * Robins tugging at her hair and the stinging nettle tunics in her hands catching at her new calluses, Cass stops dead and meet’s Damian’s eyes, silently begging him to let her pass
  * He swallows, and shakes his head.
  * Cass shoves the tunics down the front of her shirt and holds out her hands. 



***

  * Damian is the one to capture robins before they fly away, locking them in a golden cage and presenting them to his mother along with a bound Cass.
  * Since Cass stuffed the four finished tunics and the final half finished one under her shirt Talia doesn’t see them and just spends a few minutes villain monologuing before dragging them all back to the castle
  * Damian doesn’t say anything about the tunics.
  * He insists on carrying the caged robins himself to make up for failing to capture them the first time around
  * Talia approves 



***

  * Cass and Ivy and Harley are thrown in the dungeon and accused of conspiring to kill King Bruce and his sons and take over the kingdom
  * Babs tries to defend them and get them released and Talia accuses her of being a co-conspirator and arrests her with her personal guard
  * Their trial is scheduled for the next day



***

  * Damian comes to visit.
  * He isn’t really sure why, he attacked these people and worked against them with his mother, but…
  * But he sits down in front of Cass’s cell and asks if she loves her siblings
  * Babs is pissed at him and Ivy and Harley aren’t much better, telling him to get out and that he’s already done enough and the least he can do is give them one night of peace before the trial and probable execution
  * But Cass just gives him a long, considering look, and nods once.
  * She signs ‘love’ and ‘brother’ and ‘you’.
  * Something flickers in Damián’s expression, and he stands and leaves.
  * Cass smiles, and gets to work speed knitting the last tunic before morning. 



***

  * Hours after Babs and Ivy and Harley have fallen asleep, a black cat slinks through the dungeon
  * Cass looks up from making the last stitch on the last tunic, and makes eye contact with her in the thin light of the moon
  * Selina blinks, and continues on her way
  * Cass feels something settle in her chest, and lets out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding
  * Laying out the finished tunics, she counts them one last time before tucking all five into her undershirt, letting the rough fabric rub her soft skin raw as a reminder and a warning 



***

  * Talia drags them out of their cells and into the throne room early the next day for an emergency trial
  * They are all being accused of treason and murder, and will be executed post hast if proven guilty
  * Talia is sitting on Bruce’s throne like she belongs there, surrounded by her guards and a bunch of nobles none of the accused have ever seen before
  * Damian stands next to Talia on the dais, holding the golden cage full of five enraged robins and staring straight ahead with a blank face
  * His gaze lands on Cass for all of two seconds before he snaps his attention to the back wall



***

  * Ivy and Harley are called to testify first, hands bound tight behind their backs and loudly booed by the crowd
  * They aren’t really given a chance to speak, just stand there while Talia lists their crimes and the evidence against them
  * Babs is up next, spitting fire and fury and standing tall. She receives the same treatment.



***

  * The ropes around Cass’s wrists itch, but she doesn’t struggle. She bares her teeth at the guards and walks to the stand on her own. She doesn’t kneel or bow. Damian doesn’t look at her, but his knuckles are white around the handle of the cage
  * For the first time during the mockery of a trial, Talia asks the accused to speak in her defense.
  * Cass says nothing.
  * She’s so close, she just has to hold out a little longer.
  * Talia laughs and says since Cass can’t deny any of the charges against her she must be guilty, and that makes four guilty parties for the execution scheduled that afternoon. Excellent. That was faster than--
  * Damian interrupts, and mentions as casually as he can that Cass is actually mute and is quite proficient with sign-speak, and if her hands were free she would at least be able to let the crowd know what could have possibly motivated her to kill her entire family
  * Talia is not pleased, but figures she might as well go along with it. She’s got this whole trial and execution thing in the bag now, and she can punish Damian suitably for the interruption later
  * The ropes fall from Cass’s wrists, and Damian yanks open the birdcage
  * Five robins fly to Cass, and Damian jumps from the dais and draws his sword to fight off the guards while she pulls the tunics out of her shirt and tosses them in the air
  * Each robin dives through the neck of a shirt and lands on their feet, now fully human and full of rage
  * Duke, Jason, Dick, and Cass immediately start fighting the guards with Damian while Tim and Steph free Babs, Harley, and Ivy
  * Babs makes a beeline for Talia before she can slink off somewhere, and Steph and Harley join in the fight in the throne room while Tim goes searching for wherever Talia locked up the palace guards who are still loyal to the royal family and Ivy surrounds the grounds with a thorn hedge so no-one can escape
  * By the time Tim comes back from the dungeons with the royal guard and Gordon and Alfred in tow the throne room is a mess and Talia has a knife to her throat courtesy of a very pissed redhead



***

  * Damian… Damian isn’t quite sure what’s going on.
  * The newly freed siblings are all hugging Cass, and the newly freed royal guards are busy tying up Talia’s men, and he is getting ready to slink off into the shadows and make a run for it before somebody decides he needs to be tied up
  * But then Richard spots him and walks towards him with a smile and open arms, and he’s being wrapped in a warm hug he didn’t realize he’d missed
  * He bursts into tears right then and there in the throne room when Richard says he’s proud of him
  * Everyone gathers around to ruffle his hair and tell him he did a good job, and Cass whispers in his ear that she loves him and is glad he’s her brother
  * They let Damian cry as much as he needs too, and tell him he’s forgiven when he apologies for turning them into birds and capturing them
  * They tell him they understand that he was trying to make his mother proud and that he really is sorry, and that they want to start over and do this whole sibling thing properly, and if he’s willing to give it a try they are too
  * Damian nods and buries his face in Richard’s shoulder 



***

  * It takes them a good two days to capture and secure all of Talia’s men in the castle and the city, not to mention the other League of Shadows members she brought to the castle for the mock trial
  * Tim is reinstated as temporary king, and Gordon manages to get a riot in the city under control
  * Alfred gets to work putting the castle back together after his long absence
  * The whole family hugs and laughs and cries and Cass and Damian are the heroes of the hour
  * Talia is thrown in the most secure cell they have for now, and secured with some of Ivy’s magic
  * She refuses to tell them what happened to Bruce, and Damian doesn’t have any idea either, and they aren’t sure how to get her to talk so for now they are going to focus on stabilizing the kingdom 



***

  * On the third day they are having another emergency meeting in the gardens about Bruce-- this time including Damian and Babs-- when a black cat comes running up to them
  * Selina shifts, panting, and tells them she found Bruce but she needs Ivy’s help to free him
  * Everyone jumps up and rushes off to find Ivy, who has been sending out tracing spells over the entire kingdom with no results and is about ready to pull her hair out
  * They collect Ivy and Harley and Selina takes the lead, leading them down and down until they are in a cave under the dungeons, and finally she approaches a tiny little crack in the wall and says he’s down there
  * Everyone kinda just looks at her blankly, but she rolls her eyes and says Talia hijacked his shifting abilities and stuck him down there as a bat and then shifted him to a man, and he can’t get out now
  * Ivy slaps herself in the forehead before manipulating the roots reaching down from the cave ceiling to stabilize the room and enlarge the cave opening
  * Jason goes down into the cave since he’s the only one who would be able to carry Bruce out, and after a few tense minutes of trying not to panic, all the siblings crowded around the entrance see two heads of dark hair appear out of the gloom 



***

  * Once they have a very severely dehydrated and malnourished Bruce settled in the healer’s room, they finally get some answers
  * Turns out Talia ambushed him on his way back from the meeting like everyone suspected, and she killed off his entire entourage and used some kind of spell to take over his body
  * She needed him to name Damian his official heir before she could kill him off just in case any of his adoptive kids survived her robin spell/assassination attempt and showed up later to dispute Damian’s claim to the throne
  * He refused, she did the whole hijacking shifting thing and locked him up until either he agreed or she managed to kill all of his other kids
  * Selina had found the ambush site and the bodies, and managed to piece together what happened
  * She checked all the LoS prisons she knew off before thinking to check Gotham castle in case Talia wanted to keep Bruce close
  * There is a lot of gentle hugging and some kissing and reassurances and “I’m proud of you”s before the healer, Ms. Thompkins, shoves them out so Bruce can rest 



***

  * Talia escapes, to absolutely no one's surprise
  * Bruce is reinstated as King and officially names Tim as his heir and gets all the kids together to plot out the rest of the line of succession and make sure Talia and the LoS can never get their hands on it again
  * Ivy and Harley start coming over for dinner more often
  * Selina finally agrees to officially move into the palace, even if she still refuses to make anything about her relationship with Bruce official 



***

  * Cass and Damian spend a lot of time talking in sign in the gardens, and his brothers seek him out to talk about books and traveling and social justice stuff (Jason and Duke) the kingdom and economics (Tim) and just to hang out and ask about what he likes (Dick)
  * The day Dick drags him down to the kennels is the first day anyone hears him laugh, and they all endeavor to chase the sound out of him more often
  * Damian discovers he is also a bat shifter after one particularly enlightening conversation with Ivy when she senses some of Talia’s magic lingering on him and asks to remove it
  * Flying with Bruce at night becomes a their quality father son time
  * He is starting to feel more comfortable around everyone, and knows the daily routine, and decides that he likes having people that love him, and that loving them in return isn’t all that bad 



***

  * Bruce commissions a statue of Cass standing tall with five robins perched on her raised arms and Damian sitting at her feet.
  * It gets put up in the city square on the one year anniversary of Damian’s arrival, and story of the princess and the robins spreads throughout the kingdom.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite fairytale and I have read so many retellings, you guys. SO MANY. So of course I had to write my own :) 
> 
> I hope everything makes sense and the story doesn't get to overwhelmed with details!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I'm @picazos-angsty-typist on tumblr if you want to drop by!


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